Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
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