what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize