And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I need moral support for this bender
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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