no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
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We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
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I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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