While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick has a subreddit
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize