walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize