last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
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Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
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I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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