so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
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Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
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In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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