It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize