stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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