she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
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My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
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DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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