My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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