after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
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I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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