dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
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I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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