belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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