Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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