Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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