Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize