ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize