your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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