Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize