If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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