is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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