I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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