He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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