there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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