he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
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He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
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I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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