Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
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The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
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My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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