on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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