...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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