Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
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Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
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premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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