I don't remember. Are we still dating?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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