so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
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I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
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If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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