Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize