the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
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He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
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I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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