I just found puke in my bra..
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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