Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
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I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
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Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
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