Little spoons don't ask big questions
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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