dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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