Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
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