i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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