Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
organizing the empties. That sober.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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