i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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