yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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