I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize