I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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