im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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