i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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