Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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