fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Boobs speak an international language.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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